2005-03-10 - 10:36 p.m.
I have come to the recent realization that, i not being a beautiful person, can never be with a beautiful person... i am a quirky person and thus must be with my own kind. Otherwise it would be like cats and dogs breeding to result in this horribly mutated cog. Yes, cog.
There is a boy who works with me at the box, only in the hardware aisle and he is a beautiful person. I saw him trapsing about the town two nights ago with his girlfriend whom is also a beautiful person. It fit. He said hi, and she glanced at me and dismissed me, because i am not one of their kind. Ok, whatever, i am more charming anyway.
So to the issues of the boys... there is this boy in my blaw class whom is handsome, but not in the usual way that i think so. In other words he wears the same thing everyday and wears tennis shoes with his jeans. He's just plain. But for some reason i am incredibly drawn to him. I can't help but stare at him in class, he catches me from time to time, and it's slightly embarrassing, but i only care a little bit. So as fate would have it, we are in a group together, so now i am working directly with him on this project. We were supposed to meet then start on the project and of course i arrive an see him and we are forced to wait for our other members, so we are chatting and i'm asking him questions and he is being all jovial and handsome. Another member arrived and we began discussing a law case that we have to drum up a report on, and the other fellow in our group (the other girl was not present today for whatever reason) was writing something down so i turned to Collin and was just talking to him. So as i was giving my opinion about this particular case i looked at Collin and he was just watching me and really listening. But there was this depth to his look. I had to look away because it felt as if he were staring my soul. I couldn't help but studder and lose my train of thought after that. I'm sure i blushed ten shades of fire hydrant red. Anyway, it came out later that he has a girlfriend, which is ok because he also wants to live on a farm and have lot's of dogs. I do not desire either of those things since i grew up with both of them. Also he is 31. Have to say that he is just too old for me etc. But still even after all of that, i am feeling so connected in a cosmic way to him. I can't shake it.
On a side note. I am completely out of toilet paper. I was going to get some tonight, but went shopping for couches with my mother instead. So now i'm to paper towels because i too have no tissues. Paper towels are not good for the girly parts. I shall suffer until tomorrow when i can venture back to Target.
What man would EVER have this?
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