2005-11-22 - 7:30 p.m.
So, yes, it's been quite some time. I'd like to say i was doing something amazing with myself, but that would be a big fat lie. The truth is, i broke up with Jake and promptly met Ruben. We starting dating, he even helped me move and paint over my lovely green walls in my studio. We had a good time, all the time. He didn't work. Or have a car. I told him when i met him i didn't date boys that were missing those to objects. Apparently i'm not as adverse to lying as i would like to project that i am. He even moved in, that caught me off gaurd, but i let it happen anyway. I asked him to leave about two weeks later. I had come to the conclusion that he was too dependent on me, and killing who i wanted to be. Frankly, he had too much free time on his hands. My rejecting our relationship absolutely crushed him. That was roughly a week ago.
That is probably the most eventful thing that i have endured. I moved to sacramento, i don't really like it here, i do miss parts of Chico, but don't really think i want to go back. Although my schooling is seriously up in the air, so in theory, i could. I miss the park most of all, too, i miss the o-ville home depot, but going back, it wouldn't be the same. I miss the naked lounge, and i miss amber. I REALLY miss my studio apartment. My apartment here is just rotten. My car was promptly broken into when i moved here, and i was sick all the time. I fell and sprained my ankle about two weeks ago while house sitting, it's still swollen, i'm going to have it looked at tomorrow when i go to chico for thanksgiving. My sister gave me a chico state sweatshirt, i never thought i would want one before, but it gives me some sense of comfort now.
Currently i'm taking an art class that keeps me quite busy, building gnomes from tinfoil, 7ft birds out of cardboard (turned out awesome), a oceanic scene from soap, rockin' creation of broken dishes and a gigantic cupcake. For a different class, a gaudy clock. Ruben just called from San Luis Obispo, i think he thinks that we are together still... we aren't. Sacramento has the most terrible basic television programs. So i spend a lot of time listening to my i-tunes. 80's revival.
With that said, i have no personal life. But i can dream. As far as the home depot here, my first few weeks, i got a bit of attention on account that i was the fresh meat of the store. It all seemingly came from the kitchen and bath dept, and one in paint. I told the guy from paint who told me i had the body of a black woman and inquired upon our second conversation if i had ever been with a black man-- apparently, i'm missing out. Anyway i told him he was sexually harassing me and to go away. Surprisingly, he did. As for the kitchen and bath fellows,one left, so now it's down to one incredibly obnoxious admirers. He takes to throwing things at me while i'm in appointments etc, because appearently we are in junior high again. I wore a dork deflector because of him, but that was stolen when my car was broken into... the engagement is off. Not that the ring really acted as a deterrant for him anyway. So beyond him i actually have found a fella there that piques my interest. His name is Gregg (2 g's?)and he here again i run into that whole don't get your honey where you get your money problem, especially because he is on his way to manager-land, and that is a huge company no no. But i make eyes at him ayway and dress up slightly fancy. I can tell when he's impressed he has a great coy smile whenever he sees me and says hello. Sometimes going out of his way to do so as i am held hostage in kitchen design. But it certainly give me a reason to look forward to going to work day to day.
Anyway, i had made a pleathera of cupcakes for a work potluck/giant cupcake art project, and when i took them into the training room he jsut stood there almost dumbfounded, he asked me, you bake too? I told him i'm a regular suzie homemaker and walked off, no, more strutted off. I was feeling pretty saucy, i noticed that i stand taller and stick my chest out when i am lol. Not that it helps at all. I was in the depot today because they messed up one of my checks and now owe me some cash, and i walked into the hrm's office and gues who was there, that's right, Hello georgous. I must admit i had a tough day today finding out i had 0 dollars and won't graduate until 2009 so i wasn't looking my best in my chico state sweatshirt. I felt better he was wearing a pretty faded one too, sweatshirt not branded. He was just leaving, i'd like to think he lingered for about 15 minutes while i talked with the hrm. So i finished with her and of course went slyly looking for him, "do you know where the dishes are from the potluck? Oh they are in the sink in the breakroom (of course they are) but more or less followed me in there just to make sure i found it. And aked me how i learned to make red velvet cake -- i told him not to get too excited, it was from a box, i just added eggs. Well he couldn't tell the difference, apparently it's a southern dish, he's from alabama. I don't know anything about southern men lol. Anyway we left together, or at least walked out together and the odd looks started. The yentas i'm sure had a field day. i asked him questions, he answered-- i have no idea what we talked about, i was really nervous. i feel like i came off like a giant air-head. Anyway he's handsome. I told him i'd miss him if he left sac. he asked if i were working tomorrow, no but i'd be in, i told him i'd find him. For the last few days i've been dreaming about him. He's the first real crush i've had in a long time. It's nice to just crush on someone and flirt without it going anywhere too quickly. I hope eventually it can go somewhere, we'll find out.
Anyway, he's different than anyone i've dated, he's kind of stocky and again red-hair and freckles, but a military guy. It's an attractive idea. Charming smile. Or at least it charms me. But i don't have any idea of how old he is, i don't know if he knows how young i am. I won't bring it up. Ah well, until tomorrow.
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