2006-01-13 - 11:46 p.m.
It's friday the 13th, and i have had such a good day. I just woke up in god's graces i suppose. Where everyone else at work was milling around with there "situations" and migranes, i was feeling just peachy. Everything went right today. I faux-gave a class about kitchen storage today and sold some stuff, didn't do anything worthy of kudos, but i just had really good energy around me today.
I even got the balls up enough to take to Greg his movie that he left here. I'm sick of dancing around him at work because he is nervous that i might blow up if he looks at me the wrong way. So i went to his house and after two rings of the doorbell, a small child belonging to a roomate answered the door, greg is in the background. I tell the girl i was wanting talk to greg, he turns around and starts off to his room. maybe he was sure that now was the time, lay it all down girl. He stops and waits in the hallway. I held out the film and he smiled slightly
Is this mine or yours?
Yours.
Ok, thanks.
and proceeds to his room and puts in down. I lean in the door, very aware of the purse still on my shoulder yet my shoes are waiting for me at the door as is custom in this household. I looked at him and waited for him to look at me, i told him that we are kosher.
We're kosher-- he's softly laughs that i compared our situation to jewish customs, slightly questioning tone
Yeah. You can say hi to me at work. and you don't have to avoid kitchen design because of me
-questions in a defensive manner- have i been avoiding it because of you?
Well i don't know, but i haven't seen you around for a while.
Ok
Well, ok then, i've got to be going. I turn and start to go, he's following me. What are you doing tonight (duh, nothing)
Some of my friends are coming into town, going home, i don't know. I have to be at work early tomorrow.
Ok. I'll walk you out.
? ok.
He grabs a coat and walks me out to the sidewalk. Awkward. I'm mindlessly chattering, i get have way to my car and realize that he stopped at the sidewalk. I walked back, i don't remember what we said next. But i hugged him, turned and left. Because honestly even though i should hate him, i really don't. They is a decent guy in there somewhere, i've seen it. Equally i won't ever date him again, but it felt really really good to get on ok terms, especially when he didn't expect it. It's almost like forgiveness, except that i didn't really forgive him? Or did i? Maybe i did. Anyway, whatever it was it felt considerably better than holding onto anger.
I drove away, and he stood on the sidewalk dumbfounded.
To strike confusion in someone do to kindness should be a superpower.
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