2006-01-12 - 11:49 p.m.
*Clears throat which has become dry from anticipation and nerves. I've never done some like this before.*
Hi, my name is Kathy, and i am a serial participant of monogamous relationships.
Hi Kathy.
Yep, so Greg. Ah, greg. Apparently that all went to hell almost paralleling the story line of one of the cinematic triumphant shows on UPN. He has/had a girlfriend. I am slightly sick of telling this story, so here is the reader's digest version:
Dave tells me that he is under the impression that Greg is going with a friend of dave's ex-girlfriend whom works at the depot. I speak with ex-girlfriend, this is true. So i tell her that i would appreciate it if she told gregs lady that he was equally dating me. As i am at work as i recieve all this information, i inevitably see him. He smiles and has no idea that i know everything. Of course, i equally have not seen him in a week, we were supposed to get together on his birthday-- despite my efforts this didn't happen, so Chrissy and I went to the Press Club (80's bar)and i proceeded to get sloshed, and put into effect the powers of my woman prowess (sp) as i convinced boys to buy me drinks simply with a come hither look. So whatever, i was angry at his non participation of birthday events so i was quickly losing interest. By the time i got the news, i spent about two hours feeling like i was going to vomit, and then, miraculously (sp) it all became very, very funny. His entire world was going to crash around him, and then he will play the fool.
So the next day as soon as i sit down at work i get a phone call, it's the other woman (or maybe i'm the other woman?) Tiffany. So Tif and i talk. We were both proposed too, (me first ha ha) and equally both sleeping with him at the same time. Not kosher. I think that she was hoping to call and upon speaking with me find that it was all a big misunderstanding. Sorry Tif. She was crushed, really crushed. I could hear her choking back tears as she exclaimed that she thought that she had finally found the one. He met her family over christmas, oh, and yes he was with her in San fran on New Years. And i was just worried about an innocent new years kiss that he might be getting. Never really thought about that new years sex. So she askes if he's at work. He is. She is going to call and give him a piece of her mind, we hung up and i hear him getting paged. Oh my te he he. Here it comes. He avoided me and every area i might be like these places may exude the plague. I did pass him as i went to lunch. He saw me and expressed the look *gasp, oh god, here it comes from the second woman, and at work!* I just looked at him and kept walking, threw in an extra shake for his benefit. So he might remember what he is going to be missing. This is my revenge. I still have to work with him, so all i can do is confuse him with relative kindness and saucy-ness. I believe that maybe the anticipation and fear that i might make a scene would be better than my yelling and him not caring. I saw him later that day and he had circles under his eyes down to his chin. Hmm, must have been a not-so-great day. I chuckled under my breath.
Anyway, i went to Chico yesterday and saw the fam, also Tony and Jake whom i was under the impression harbored (sp) great anger inside toward me. Not true. Which is good. Makes sense that i saw him, because i had a dream about him a few weeks earlier-- intuition i suppose. Any way turns out that he bookmarked my diary, oh god. He know everything. However in my extreme embarrassment, it allowed for a no barr conversation which was extremely satisfying for me. Honestly i walked away from that one more grounded. Our conversation was spent covering a lot of things that i generally self-reflect on, but it is so different when said aloud and then having feedback. We parted with a hug and kiss -- Jake, in case you are having issues about this, i ment the kiss as a sincere momento of gratitude for the conversation. Again, great thanks.
Equally i went to see Amerie, and we conversed about this as well. Upon both events, i have come to actually admit to that i am a serial participant in monogamous relationships. Which isn't really what i want, yet at the same time it is exactly what i want, and hence that's why i do it. I would like to think that i could actually be alone for an extended period of time, and however i sort of have done it in the past (i say sort of because even during times of my single-ness, there was a sprinkling of first dates) it's not something i am actaully striving for. With this conformation comes the heartbreaking realization that i will never be an impressive spinster. I can only strive for a faux-spinster at best. A finster. That even sounds awful. Ah well, i have accepted this. Ain't that a kick in the head?
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