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2005-01-13 - 10:38 p.m.

Today was just about as exciting as a bucket of bolts. While that could cause some to pass out with delight, i was not amused. I literally worked all day, with the exception of commuting and an hour lunch. And during that lunch i spent the majority of it feeling like i was having an out of body experience in that all of my co-workers are so sterotypically white trash, and that is not my scene. I just wanted to run away with arms flailing as fast as i could. I just kept my mouth shut and tried not to make direct eye contact. Then pizza was brought in and i watched them devour everything in sight similar to a pride of lions on an elderly grazing beast. I should have known that today was going to have this appeal because as i was in the parking lot approaching the store, a fellow in a very old, very sad, very broken truck slowed way down in front of me, the window proceeded to roll down and a toothless face of a man hung out. And then he spoke. He said in a slow taunting voice, "Baby, you are so fine. Fine, fine fine." I wanted to vomit. If anything i lack the self confidence that i started with today... why do these type think that we are in the same field, the same universe for that matter. Somewhere deep in their being they believe that i am flattered and thrilled by this comment, where in reality it makes me want to curl up in a little ball under a rock somewhere.
Maybe why this is why i have not heard from bread boy yet. But i shall continue to believe that it is because he remains in Montana.
Anyway, as far as work goes, i had my first consultation today ... it was alright. Although i was really lost, i only came off as slightly confused and perchance disoriented from perhaps a medication mishap. I'll talk to the trainer tomorrow and hopefully gain some insight as to how it should have gone and what i can do to remedy this. But all in all, i didn't run away with arms failing and that is a good sign. Although it wasn't until i made it all the way out to my car that i decided to return and work through it. I also worked at the A. Bros. It is nice to work there on occasion becuase i actually know what i'm doing there, and more than the majority there so they let me do as i please. I also get to exercise my creativity a touch more on various displays that are needed. Today, the one i created became a more form than function thing. Humorous for me.
My ex-boyfriend Nick,(we are still friends) was supposed to come over this evening because a few nights prior he called me in the wee hours of the morning and some how convinced me to rub his back at a future point in time i.e. tonight, so i moved things around and altered my schedual to do this favor for him and he decided that he would rather watch a movie with his roomate and the roomate's girlfriend. I'm slightly bugged. I mean i am really tired and don't really know why i agreed in the first place, i suppose i'll agree to much of anything in the wee hours on account that my sense of everything is not terribly intact. But still, it's an inconvience. He doesn't seem to mind when he inconviences me. Arg. Enough on that. I digress.

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